If you’ve ever had shower sex that made you feel like a wet chihuahua—shivering, uncomfortable, awk AF—you’re not alone. Getting dirty in the place that gets you clean is far more complicated than any rom-com (side-eyeing you, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Friends With Benefits) or porno suggests.
For one, it’s slip central (tile + water + bouncing bodies = you better have health insurance). Two, water is not (I repeat, NOT) a lubricant—in fact, it can actually make you feel more dry than wet (I know, the irony). And last but not least, there is absolutely nothing sexy about accidentally taking a gulp of hot water up your nose or in your mouth when you’re trying to get your O on.
But before you cross shower sex off your sex bucket list for good, you may want to give it another go. “Shower sex can be really hot because it has a sense of urgency to it—you’re not going to stay in there for an hour,” says Janet Brito, PhD, a clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist in Honolulu, Hawaii. “Plus, hot water is relaxing and sensual, and seeing each other naked and wet can be a huge turn-on.”
Shower sex may be the one time parents have enough privacy to indulge in a quickie sesh, Brito explains. If you’ve got kiddos constantly running around or if you’re living with roommates, parents, etc., hopping in the shower might be the only time you can fit in your interruption-free, one-on-one time with bae.
Ready for some steamy shower sex? These tips will make shower sex hotter—and safer:
- Add a non-slip bath mat.
This one’s a no-brainer, but you probably don’t have one, do you? A rubber bath mat with suction cups will give you and your partner real foot traction. It’s the only way to safely tackle shower sex, since just worrying about slipping is enough to keep you from climaxing. Try this top-rated one from Gorilla Grip.
- Start when you’re already turned on.
Foreplay isn’t the easiest thing to get going in the shower—there’s not a lot of space to be creative. If you can, before you get to the real steamy stuff, Brito suggests first having play time in the bedroom or bathroom (making out, touching) until you’re both raring to go. Bonus: You’ll save water. (Yay for being green!)
- Have a designated foot stand.
If you don’t have a luxe bathroom setup with a built-in bench (if you do, I’m jealous), investing in a water-resistant seat or foot stand will seriously expand the range of shower sex positions you can break into. A wooden one with wide slats works well (just keep it out of the direct water stream as much as possible).
- Avoid oils, but use lube.
Sudsing up with a bath oil can be hot, but it can also make things very, very slippery. You do want to bring in a silicone-based or natural lube, though—despite being a liquid, water can actually create more friction between you and your partner’s genitals. So grab the lube, and apply carefully to both of your nether regions before you step into the shower (so it doesn’t drip onto the floor, making it slick), says Brito.
- Mind your leg position.
When your body overheats (which it definitely can in a steamy shower), your muscles get lax and you can pass out—eeek. It doesn’t happen often, but to be extra-cautious, make sure your and your partner’s knees are never locked out for max stability.
- Point the shower head toward your torso or legs (if you can).
Angle the water to hit against your and your partner’s backs, chests, and legs instead of faces or heads. And point it so that it’s not directly hitting your genitals—as mentioned, shower water can cause more friction than fun slip-and-sliding.
- Bring toys into the equation.
Brito suggests incorporating some form of water-proof vibrator or anal plug into your shower sex routine if you’re feeling a little more adventurous. Having a vibe on-hand will also take away the pressure of finding the absolute perfect position for penetration and, instead, gives you and your partner the chance to stimulate each other in a different way.
- Use soap for sexy exploration.
Important: Sex doesn’t need to include penetration in order to be intimate. Take some super foamy soap and use it to explore each other’s bodies through gentle touching and massaging. Sometimes this kind of relaxed intimacy can feel *even better* than the (at times) complicated AF penetration you’re used to thinking of when it comes to shower sex.
- Shower sex doesn’t need to be in-person.
If you’re not physically with your partner right now, Brito says there’s a way to work around this issue. “With the right equipment, you can certainly set up your tripod and camera, point and record, while your beau watches you lather yourself with soap in all the right places. You could also use your vibrator or your shower head to put on a show,” she explains.
- You’ll still need to wash up afterward.
Brito explains that when having shower sex you still need to be mindful of personal hygiene and safety the same way you would with any other sexual activity. That includes using condoms or dams!
Now that you know how to have hot shower sex, here are the best shower sex positions to tackle tonight (and tomorrow morning, and the next…):
This position gives you tons of G-spot and clitoral stimulation, so you can get in and out of the shower (read: reach orgasm) fast. You can either place your hands onto the shower wall for support—or if your partner has good traction (that grippy bath mat, people!), let them grip your wrists to up the ante.
Do It: With both your and your partner’s feet planted firmly on the mat, turn away from your companion and lean into the wall, pressing your palms against it and tilting your butt upward and out. Your partner should enter you from behind, thrusting with their hands anchored on your hips, breasts, clit, whatever. Option to remove your hands once you find your balance (it’s just like yoga).
Amp it up with one of these buzzy
Are you lucky/fancy enough to have one of those seat-shelves in your shower? If not, did you take my advice and buy one yet? You need to: This seated rear-entry position is the perfect shower choice if you like girl-on-top.
Do It: Have your partner sit on the bench with feet on the floor. Facing away from them, sit on their lap, straddling them (you choose how wide to spread your legs based on your stability). As you pump up and down, your hands will be free to play with your clit or any other erogenous zones. You can even have your partner hold your wrists so you can lean forward and go at it at an angle. Fun!
Here’s another position that’ll help you make good use of that shower seat.
Do It: With your partner sitting down, straddle them, facing forward with your knees and/or shins on the bench for leverage. Grind against your partner, bracing the wall for balance if need be.The pressure of his pubic bone against your clitoris should feel pretty darn stimulating—but if your knees or legs start to hurt, try pretzeling them behind your partner’s back.
This position might also be easiest with a shower shelf seat, but that’s not completely necessary. That said, you may not want to start with this position—think of it more like your finale.
Do It: With your back pressed against the wall, have your partner enter you from the front: You can wrap both your legs around their waist, or if that’s too slippery in the shower, try dropping one foot to the floor and leaving one lifted.
For another fun front-facing position (that requires a little less balance on your partner’s end), this is a great option.
Do It: With your partner standing and positioned to enter you from the front, bring one leg up to brace against the edge of the tub or your shower wall for extra support and thrusting leverage.
The change in angle adds a stimulating twist to a shower standard, and the added sensation of warm water on your back definitely doesn’t hurt.
So this move might look a little blah, but trust—it isn’t. You get some deep P-in-the-V action (go ahead and touch your clit, or have him reach one hand around to do it himself), he gets to rest (a bit), and you both get a break from all the weird wet kissing. Because let’s be honest…warm water never tastes good (nope, not even during sex).
Do It: Have your partner sit on the edge of the tub or your handy bench, then sit on top of him, facing away. Simple!
No one in their right mind would tell you to have sex lying down in the shower (hello, drowning?). But there’s no reason you can’t have sex sitting down, on the shower floor. In fact, there’s every reason TO go for it: You can’t fall if you’re already on flat ground.
Do It: Position the shower head so that it will hit your bodies (not faces), then have your partner sit on the shower floor, hands behind him to prop him up. Then sit in front of him and scooch your hips until you’re sitting on top of him.
Note: You’ll be the one doing most of the riding (and pro tip: circular grinding) here, since his tush hitting the hard tile over and over won’t feel so good.
One thing that makes shower sex (and standing sex in general, tbh) harder? A big height difference. So to make up for any gaps, this should be your go-to.
Do It: Prop yourself onto the tub ledge or bench and have your partner enter you while you hold onto the closest surface. If you’re completely stable, place your feet on his chest, in front of his shoulders, to better control his tempo and depth of thrusts.
If you’re feeling a little more ambitious (and #WHstrong), consider the wheelbarrow position. Word of caution, though: You definitely want that non-slip bath mat and to point the water away from your head. (So you can breathe…okay, pant.)
Do It: Get on your hands and feet, and have your partner pick you up by the pelvis. Then, wrap your thighs around their waist for support as your partner thrusts. This position allows for some super-deep penetration, and the warm water hitting your body at the same time will feel ah-mazing.
Another way to tackle the shower is by trying out new ways to give oral, or as Brito calls it, the ‘bullseye.’ (Get it? The clitoris is the bullseye, hah.) TLDR; this position takes face-sitting to a whole new level, so if you’re a clit-haver you’re going to be obsessed.
Do It: “If you have a tub to sit on or a shower chair, and a shower mat to reduce falls, have your partner lay on the edge and then gently sit on your partner’s face in an angle where your clitoris rests on their lips,” Brito says. You’ll be sitting pretty upright, so you can move your hips and direct your partner’s tongue where you need.
Want to make shower sex less slip-prone? Join the club. The key here is to try out more standing-based positions. But hey, standing doesn’t mean just a wet version of penetration from behind. Instead, get creative by incorporating parts of the shower itself for some major clit-stimulating action.
Do It: “In this position, one of you leans against one of the shower walls, while the other comes from behind and provides clitoral stimulation with their hands or the shower head,” Brito explains. Want to face each other so you can see your beautiful faces? You can also use the shower head to stimulate each other while facing each other, too.